We ALL WOKE UP :)

My last post i was asking myself what would be next? hoping that people would wake up.. wake up to see the reality about this country and just make anything for a better one.

I never imagined that all what happened would really be a reality, I never thought that a simple call for demonstration would lead to where we are now with all the bad and the good.

Maybe I've lost this hope of a better place sometime ago along the way of my 28 years of living and just thinking that if i do what i believe in and i do little, i can change the small world i live in. But i guess i was wrong, we needed something bigger to make this change, we needed everybody's will to build something out of nothing.

Now looking back for the last 2 weeks, i see lot of things.. I didn't want to write or post anything cos i didn't know from where to start. I was lost in the middle, caught in an internal fight between hope and fear.. but now i want just to write all those feelings, to remember.

It started the 25th of January, when people went to protest while i was working at home. I didn't think to go to the protest cos I had to work as it is my priority to deliver the project i'm running. I wanted to go and participate deep inside, probably cos of what I've experienced few days earlier (check my previous post). The days before the demonstrations I saw videos posted on YouTube and facebook, about these Peaceful protests, about what to do, what is it about and I felt it might be a big one but not as it turned to be.

Later on I asked friends who went and told me it was really great and much bigger although they were trying to hide it on the local media and I wished i could have gone.

One of the slogans which depicted the spirit of this revolution is "تغيير .. حرّية .. عدالة إجتماعية" meaning "change, liberty, social justice"

The following day i went to work as usual, following what's happening on the field on the internet, yes the demonstrations where still there and then, we received an email about leaving the office early due to what might happen... I was a bit worried, why would they ask us to leave? What would happen next? Would I make to home safely? Would I be caught in the middle? I made it to home without any incidents but following the news it was taking more and more attention.

So I decided the following day, Thursday, to work from home, not cos I was afraid to go all the way to Smart Village but cos I feared that they ask us to leave early and i'll be wasting time for nothing and I asked all the team to do the same thing (these are the consequences of being a manager and having deadlines). I was still following more and more what's happening, every few minutes checking for the updates to an extent i decided to close facebook to be able to concentrate on work. Later on, heard about difficulties to log on facebook but as i was connected through the work network, i was able to be online on facebook. At night, i was discussing with some friends on msn, about what's happening and going on and then my brother told me that he send some sms to a friend but didn't receive all. So I decided to try myself, not believing that it could be really true, that the state would prevent the access of facebook and now banning sms cos afraid of the following day protests of "Friday of Anger". Anyway I tried myself, sending sms between my 2 mobile numbers of 2 different operators... and I was trying also with a friend.. and it was true, no sms.. ok now it is getting far after couple of hours, around midnight, internet was down. I thought i had problem but then a friend called me and ask me if I had a problem on internet.. that was too big.

And then came the big Friday.. I woke up and then looking on my mobile, didn't find a signal.. I checked my other phone and it was still working. I switched to 3G and I restored the signal back so I made a couple of calls to warn my friends. It was going far now, the government shutting internet, sms and now cell phones. I thought it would be for couple of hours but the day was passing and still no phone coverage. I was watching the different channels, how big the crowds, seeing also violence, hearing reports.. and i was fearing for my friends who went to the Tahrir Square for the demonstrations. I didn't know how to reach my friend, since no mobile and I didn't have her phone number till later in the evening. I managed to call a common friend and it happened that she had called him and i got the land line number i could reach her on. We both had this common friend's number cos he just installed a phone at his new appartment. I looked on my contact list on my mobile and discovered that I don't have my friend's home numbers except my friends since school days. I only had the number of 3 of my friends at work and i remembered the circumstance i asked for it (one cos i was in the middle of discussion then the mobile's battery ran out so he called me from his house, one cos there was problems in the network when at home and he was teleworking that day and the 3rd one mentioned previously). I remembered the old times, when I used to call my friends and one of their family members would answer. I discovered I still remember the phone numbers I knew by heart.

I wanted that day to go to the streets but my parents didn't like the idea and also after seeing that there is no way of communication, i was afraid to be out there without being able to tell my parents i'm fine.

Time passes by with more worrying news, suddenly we hear about a curfew ordered by the High Commander in Chief aka, the president.. I always heard this word without feeling its meaning. In my mind it was just people not going out to the streets.

The building of the National Democratic Party near the Egyptian Museum was burning as well as other buildings, police stations being torched, thieves or whatever they are called looting shops as if a sudden evil has been leached in the middle of life.

Around 6pm we heard that the President will make a speech.. it was about time, the country is going downhill, day after day without any comment from the Government.. the time passes by and still no Moubarak. Why is he taking all that time? Is he preparing his escape? Is he dead and they are trying to figure out how to convey this news to the people? Finally i went to sleep, but after an hour or so, my mom woke me up to hear the speech. After all that time waiting for him to speak, all he says is that he will change the government. What? After few days of anger and rage and protests and clashes and.... Why the government did not present their resignation in the first place after the first day of confrontations? I was too disappointed and at the same time, I felt this is not good at all and went back to sleep.

Thank God, the cellular networks came alive the following day, Saturday but still no internet.

I called friends to make sure they are fine, I received calls from other friends, I called my team and most important of all, I took the home telephone numbers of everybody I called just in case it happened again to have a mean of communication.

My brother went out to buy some medicaments and told me when he came back that the shop in the gas station near home was stolen. It is getting closer and closer to my home and my inner circle of comfort without feeling it coming. We also heard on TV about the looting of Carrefour. That was too much to take, trying to imagine the shops I used to buy things from emptied and destroyed as if some kind of storm has passed by leaving nothing behind like a tornado.

Saturday was going slowly, zapping from one channel to another, seeing the demonstrations and protests, hearing reports... That night, I understood what is really a curfew. The president has ordered the Military to go in the streets, the Police has disappeared, young guys went to the streets defend their neighborhood from vandalism and thieves, prisoners escaping from prisoners...

Earlier in the day, we decided to be prepared to anything. We put a big chain on the building door. We covered the iron door between the garage and the building with black sheets. We asked our neighbors to put their cars in our garage in case some people tried to destroy cars. I gathered my important papers in one place, preparing a little bag just in case we had to go rushing out as some scenarios trying to come alive and being formulated in my head.

The TV was not helping at all, was hearing people calling to ask for help, my brother was on the phone talking with his friends on streets, hearing about stories of people with guns firing, fights on going, people in my age and his age capturing thieves or violence.. from time to time hearing myself some gunshots far away.. it was a very long night and the dawn was too slow to come. One of my worst nights ever!! And yes, this is what a curfew meant. Feeling danger coming without knowing from which direction, fearing what might happen in the next moment, to be the next target.

The Sunday morning came and I managed to sleep for some hours.

I called my friends to see how their nights, to make sure they didn't face any problems while patrolling in the streets. I was proud of my friends as I discovered a new face in each one of them, the sense of responsibility towards their families and their neighborhood. I also discovered that you can always surprise yourself with something you never expected in your life to do if not for those unbelievable circumstances that you were put it.

The following days went slowly. Curfew hours increased day by day.

I went with my mom one day to buy some stuff from a nearby supermarket. It was the first time for me to go in the streets since all those events. I saw the young guys taking the responsibility of organizing the traffic. We were lucky to find a parking just in front of the supermarket. We didn't spend lot of time picking what was needed, but we waited in a long queue to pay. We began chatting with the ladies beside us in the queue. One was complaining there are no ATMs working (as most were vandalized or ran out of money) although she had only 500LE in the bank. Another was asking if they would accept visa card or not. Finally our turn came but they had only small plastique bags so we put all what we bought in the caddy back to our car.

These days i spend my time talking with my friends, watching the different channels on TV, the national ones and foreigners, trying to see who is right, who is biased. The new government was communicated. Still protesters in el Tahrir Square. Lot of rumors came out to the light that at the end I felt i was living in big conspiracies. Some times i was working, other times i was reading a book "Fall of Giant" which is by the way depicting the story of people from different countries during the 1st world war.. how they interact within the story till when the war is declared, how the countries started it, how political decisions are taken.. it's like what happening here in Egypt but in a wider scale. I don't remember really which day we heard about intruders in the Egyptian Museum but i was totally upset and angry and all what they could say, we are happy nothing was stolen, and what was broken will be restaured. I can't believe it, how they would treat this as if nothing happened? Seeing the traces of what happened on TV was so sad.

And so came February. I was waiting so much to end my January as it was the worst month ever in my life, not only because those events but for other circumstances.

The President made a remarkable speech on Tuesday night, also aired very late. I still didn't discover what is the secret behind that except making us wait. Anyway his speech had touched the heart of many. He announced that he will not run for another presidency campaign, some articles in the constitution to be changed and that he will continue till the next election and will die in this soil. Ok he didn't really give what the protesters wanted but things were a little bit moving even if too slow in my opinion. I was thinking then ok, that's not too bad for now, we can get through this...

Wednesday proved i was totally wrong. Attacks occurred on the peaceful protesters in a barbaric way. I couldn't believe my eyes what was aired on all the TVs. Is this my country? It was more like a war. People getting hurt in real life. I called my friends living there and it was totally a mess. I hoped this would soon but it didn't. I went to sleep around 1am and still fighting was on going. I was totally chocked and I really supported the protesters all the way long and wanted to see the end of this corrupted system that is causing all this troubles. It is not about staying in presidency or not. It is about committing to serve the country and its people.

The following days passed more or less peacefully. Friday was full of people coming with everywhere. I wished I was part of it. This time i didn't go but my heart was there. Internet was already back, and i felt happy to see friends outside Egypt sending me messages asking about me and my family. Internet was back and so back people posting on facebook but this time videos, photos, stories of what happened. But along the laughter and jokes came fights and disputes, people asking the protesters to leave as they had already gained something for the country, others asking everybody to go and protest... the voices became louder and louder.. so i decided to step away, not comment, not say my opinion.. not cos I was afraid, but cos at this point i was much more confused of what should be done next...

Finally, we are back to work today. I was really looking forward to go back to life. I know protests are still on going but they are not the cause to stop everything. I believe in the cause they are fighting for. I believe that this is for our Egypt that we want to be the best of all. I believe that their voice must be heard louder and louder but at the same time, life should go on. I was happy that i didn't have to drive by myself all the way to work. It was strange to see tanks at the gates of Smart Village, and i remembered few years ago when i was in Cote d'Ivoire and there was a tank stopping beside my car in the street..

And now, I can reply to my friend who asked me couple of weeks ago, why do you still live in this country and don't try to leave it? At that time i didn't have a clear answer, it was something other than my family, my friends, my work, my life... but i couldn't determine it at that time.. now i know, it is the feeling of being home, of being in your country that you want it to get better, that you can contribute and have a role in it, however small is.

I shall say thank you all, my friends and protesters.. this journey that is still on going made me discover new aspects. I don't know what would happen next or how will be the future but I'm sure that it would be bright because we all care about our country, and we regained our "egypcianity".

Please WAKE UP!!!

So, everybody now is talking about the protests to be held next week... it is natural that some would agree and some wouldn't for various reasons, starting from the believers who think it is the right of people to express their opinion and demand for their rights till the no opinion people who don't think about anything as it is all just talks in the air..

in the midst of all that, i was surprised to see that the Coptic Orthodox Church is asking their followers to stay at home and pray!!! First what is the authority of religion on their believers, and what is the authority of the country on its people? It is the authority of the people on themselves that really matters. I am not waiting for someone to tell me do this or do that. I respect the law for sure but at the same time, i have my rights to think and do whatever i see suitable for me..

Yesterday i went to the Old churches area with a friend to take photos and i was chocked that we were denied the entrance of the area cos we are Egyptians who are not Journalists and who don't have a permission from the Church to take photos? I still don't believe what i just wrote... Do they really think that this is for the best interest of the country? that this would prevent attacks and accidents? what about we, the common people feeling denied a simple right in our own country? didn't they think of that impact? that facing situations like this would make us consider staying or leaving?

Another incident happened also to a friend yesterday. being trapped at the exit of Port-Said cos everybody on duty was attending the prayer and after finally passing and wanting to make a complaint, the response was even more sarcastic than the situation itself..

I am wondering, what would be next?

PLEASE WAKE UP!!!!

My 2010 at a glance

I'm not the type of person to live in the past but 2010 was for sure one of the best years ever so I decided to take few moments and think of what i really liked the most.. maybe it would give me hope in 2011 which i really need these days.. so let's start

January:
Getting lost in Helwan trying to reach the Japanese garden and using my GPS for the first time.. technology is quite useful, specially in a country where people tend to help you even if they don't really know the answer

February:
My 1st real accident.... on Valentine's day... thank God it ended up something little but the accident itself was kind of scary
My car was flooded, ok i'm exagerating a little... it was raining too much that day and i forgot to close my car window so.. you can imagine how my seat was after few hours :)

March:
First time to experience hiking in the mountains, outdoors camping... it was a great trip, although challenging sometimes and i ended up with great old/new friends


April:
Trying Sandboarding
Spending a little vacation at Sharm El-Sheikh with my friends


May:
Going to Yemen for a short business trip and trying Shisha for the first time!!!


June/July:
Going to Sinai in 3 out of 4 weekends for hiking
Travelling for the first time driving my car (driving 700Km and 12 hours during 2 days!!)
Starting to play squash

August:
Camp formation de T.A... back to the roots.. a changing experience for me and the girls
Having stiches on my head

September:
Chopin @ the Pyramids

Starting the non-stop working mode (till now :( )

October:
Discovering the Catacombes and Kom El Sho2afa at Alexandria
Losing in the competition after 10 months of hard work!!!


November:
Having some great and unexpected news!!!!! Was a great surprise.. still to keep my promise to my friends ;)
Watching 3 movies within the same week (from the European Movie Festival)


December:
Back to "Journee de Nettoyage" after 10 years from being first promotion to start it... cleaning the school from inside and outside.. although it was a challenge this year as there was sandstorms, the girls had high spirits and happy about what they were doing

Personal Tribute to Aida

It is my 5th time to attend Opera Aida yet, it was like seeing it with totally different eyes.

I know already the music, the story.. but yet it still has its own charm.

I remember the first time, some 5 years ago, i was astonished and dazzled with all the music, costumes, lights... and the duration too (first time ever to attend a show in 4 acts!).
I didn't really follow the story at that time, just fascinated with everything on stage and enjoying my friend's presence.

2 years ago, i wrote the following after watching it for the 2nd time.

(http://marianneayad.blogspot.com/2009/01/love-kills-and-ressucites.html)

Watching it again and again, I don't feel or think the same way as once i did but these few words "it's about living the moment" make me reconsider my life during the last couple of years... I don't remember if this was the triggering moment, taking the decision to enjoy my life and really live every moment as it comes.. i might not be successful doing this all the time but looking back i feel that this is what i tried and still try to do. Not to be afraid to try something new cos it is out of the ordinary, not to plan everything in my life as I usually like to do, but to just live the moment as it comes.. ending up doing lot of things in one day which were not totally planned, travel and discover new places with some people i meet for the first time, breaking rules...

last year, went twice for Aida, at the Opera and the Pyramids..

The pyramids experience was different... cos you don't have this sensation of being at the Opera.. some spectators even were ruining this feeling of watching an Opera.. the only thing i enjoyed is that for the first time i'm not distracted to read the translation in arabic, just listening to the music as it is...

and finally, my 2011 Aida.. splendid as ever.. feeling more the power of the actors and their role in the story without focusing on the story itself.. feeling the music telling the story, when there is action, when there is romance, when there is sadness... wondering how composers can translate a story into music, and it is the music that tells the story at the end, even if you don't understand the words.. this is the magic of Aida

I am out of words

I may not be touched as everyone is, i'm not changing my profile picture, i'm not putting some quotes or verses in my status, i'm just keeping quiet... quiet cos when you are already in the middle of something, you can't focus on other's grief.. when you are wondering what tomorrow will bring, bad or good news, you can't just share people's feelings of disbelief, of slogans, of...
it's like i'm in another planet. I am not saying is that i'm not touched cos what happened is touching but at the end what is life when we disrespect the simplest rule of living? what is life when money, religion or whatever else becomes a goal to reach whatever the consequences are?
I can't feel grief cos i'm already grieving inside. I can't feel sympathy to the victims cos i'm a victim myself. A victim of long wars, tearing apart countries, cos of stupid people who care nothing about the consequences of the people living out there. A victim of having a part of my identity stolen cos of decisions changing the course of entire generations... and where does it lead us? presumed freedom? long forgotten justice? I don't think so.
I have mixed feelings i didn't have before, i feel powerless and nothing in my hands. I feel empty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L'oiseau enfermé

Je me trouve toujours sans mots à dire
Quand je veux exprimer mes sentiments et mes désirs
C’est pour cela que je me mets à écrire
Peut-être je me sentirai plus libre

Le plus je garde tout pour moi
Le plus je veux crier à haute voix
Ça fait du temps que mon cœur bat
A chaque instant qu’on se voit

Moi qui prenais toutes mes gardes
Pour ne pas me laisser prendre par mégarde

Je deviens de plus en plus fragile
Je ne parviens pas à rester tranquille
Je m’enferme dans ma propre île
Et ca devient plus difficile

Difficile parce que je ne veux pas perdre
Tous ces instants qu’on se partage
Et à la fin je ne fais qu’attendre
Derrière les barreaux d’une cage

Comme un oiseau qui rêve de voler
A sa guise dans l’immensité
Mais qui se retient à cause d’une réalité
Qui le force à rester où il est

Il désire tant d’avouer
ses sentiments pour retrouver sa liberté
Même si à la fin il découvre que c’était un mirage
Au moins il serait sorti de cette cage

Mais que pourrait-on lui conseiller
Lui qui tant de fois a essayé
De courir derrière la vérité
Sans parvenir à l’attraper ?

L’oiseau a finalement décidé
De rester dans sa petite cage dorée
Jusqu’au jour où l’on ouvrira
La porte de son cœur qui bat

Le 01/01/2011

it is one of those days

It is one of those days
when everything goes the other way
when you wish you don't stay
just to go very far away

then out of nowhere comes a ray
a joke, a smile, a little play
and all you do is just pray
for God to send you a friend like today

At the wrong wedding

Few days ago, i was invited to a wedding of school friend whom i have not seen since very long time. I arrived 10 minutes late and the ceremony was already on going. I was surprised as normally the bride comes late... but I was even more surpised when i stepped in the church. First, the attendees where not what i was expecting, and i felt like a stranger, dressed up like that while the people where much more simpler... I tried to have a good place to see the bride and groom but I was seeing only their profiles, so I was watching the ceremony on the big screen. But.... the bride didn't look like my friend.. i was thinking maybe she changed, you know how you could look differently with all that make up, specially at your own wedding.. I knew it wasn't her but I wanted to be certain, at least to check if I was in the right church. And yes, i was at the right church, at the right time but at the wrong wedding... all that time inside the church was trying to think what if it wasn't her and i stayed till the end and i go to greet them... or when i was taken in the video, what would they say seeing someone they both dont know..
I stayed till i heard the priest pronouncing the name of the bride and groom which was different as i was expecting and this was the final confirmation that i was definitely in the wrong wedding so i decided to leave it.
I went outside and then saw lot of people standing at the main gate of the church. This time they seemed the type of people I was expecting to be attending the wedding... and yes, moments later, i saw the bride, in the car.. waiting for her turn to get married.
What a funny and unexpected evening :-)

Simply... a forgotten feeling

What a joy to reconnect with yourself, to simply forget anything and look to your own hands, playing like a child, trying to create something out of nothing, something that speaks of yourself, that says this is yours and only yours. Nothing else is comparable to it nor similar, it is unique and has even more value for you cos it is simply your creativity.
I've forgotten this joy and happiness, long time ago did i grab a pen or colors to draw, or make any bricolage... and suddenly out of nowhere, it was there before me, clay and pottery and a chance to make something out of it... although i had to get help, and it was not that easy, but i feel proud of what i've done. it may not be perfect, it may not be that pretty, but for me it's something more, it's the long lost dream, the forgotten joy, that life had carried away....
My only wish is to take it as a start and not an ending...

Hiking experience

I had the chance to experience the adventure of hiking in Sinai. It all started by an invitation to join a hiking trip to El Galt El Azraq. I was tempted to join in as i love to explore new places and also to try something different and it turned out to be one of the richest experience i had.
I discovered a lot about myself , that i had more endurance than i thought, based on my previous experience in Bahareya Oasis a year ago. I met new people i didn't know before and we lived together a 3 wonderful days although our differences and our hiking experience. Everybody helped others, whether in climbing, sharing water, sharing needed stuff (like the needle and the brick needed to carry on the little operations of blowing off the little bubbles on our feet).
The only thing i really missed during this trip is that although we were hiking in one of the beautiful places, my mind was not there to contemplate this beauty and we didn't have much time to just sit and watch what is around us, as we were always on the move catching up with time, and i was so focused on the hiking itself, to watch out from making a bad move.
I loved watching the stars shining in the sky at night, camping in the outdoors, drinking from waterfalls, seeing the flowers and the trees flourishing in the mountains.
The most difficult was to challenge myself, to go beyond the limits that the mind can draw, and it is then when i discovered that these limits were fake, that i can do more than i could imagine. It is strange how the mind can hold you from a lot of things and bind you even just trying something. Life is so rich but we only need just a little bit of will to go further.
Also, one of the things that i liked is that i discovered more about my personnality through my friends. Sometimes it is hard to see myself through my own eyes, and that's when you need other people to tell you more about you.
So this is an invitation for you to look for more than you can see, and believe me, you'll discover that life can give you much more than you can imagine.

The day after

Why i can't feel happiness like everybody because our national team won the Afrcian Cup of Nations again breaking records? Why all i can see in the morning is the garbage in the streets after people celebrating all night? why do i feel sad, just after 10 minutes of the last whistle and holding the cup? I don't care if we had lost, of course happy that we won but if we had lost, i wouldn't be so sad. I feel that we forget far more important things in our life and we just think of winning a game. And now what, we won the cup and then? What about tomorrow, what about the day after?

Agora

In the adventure of discovering new movies, out of the current trend of movies played in the cinemas, Agora was the one who caught most my attention.

It is a movie directed by Alejandro Amenábar. The story takes place in ancient Alexandria, about a woman, Hypatia, who was a scholar, avid for science and teaching. What is the most striking about this movie is that it can the every day story, no matter when, who or where. The long fight between the fanatism and the believes. How everything can be manipulated in such a way that at the end, we forget what is the origin of all things. When the love for religion becomes fight for supermacy, the differences between people emphasis the distances and search for glory becomes the main concern.

Shouldn't we learn from history... that history that we neglect and we only remember the facts like the date of the wars or the name of the kings and queens... but what about the history of the people who lived? how people where thinking and coexisting with as much diversity as nowadays? we know nothing, although this is what we ought to know in order to undersand better the past and the present. I'm not saying we should learn from the past but that we should look at it from another point of view, a more human view than a historical one.

Ressemblance and Diversity

We share the same continent, yet we are different.... not the same language, not the same color, not even the same religion and yet, we discovered although these differences, we do share one small thing (beside working in the same company) which is Hibisicus, herb used to make a red colored drink or more commonly knows as Karkade in Egypt and Bissap in Senegal.

If we don't try the "other" things, we miss the experience and we miss the discovery of the resemblance. I think this is what is lacking in our world. If we try what's different, we might feel that we are more alike. If we care to know something that might be insignificant like the local name of a local drink, our perspective would have change.

But as every thing else in our world, we are afraid from "what is not like what we know" and we don't even have the urge to do try something new or different cos we are more comfortable with what we know already. and this lead us to live in a bubble, not daring even to see what's outside and the bubble becomes blurry till we can't even see what is just under our nose.

from wiki: different names in different places

It is also known as meśta/meshta on the Indian subcontinent, Tengamora in Assam,Gongura in Telugu,chin baung in Myanmar, กระเจี๊ยบ krajeab in Thailand, bissap in Senegal, Guinea Bissau, Mali, Burkina Faso, Ghana, Benin andNiger, the Congo and France, dah or dah bleni in other parts of Mali, wonjo in the Gambia, zobo in Nigeria (the Yorubas in Nigeria call the white variety Isapa (pronounced Ishapa)), karkade (كركديه; Arabic pronunciation: [ˈkarkade]) in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Sudan, omutete in Namibia,sorrel in the Caribbean and in Latin America, Flor de Jamaica in Mexico, Saril in Panama, rosela in Indonesia, asam paya or asam susur in Malaysia. In Chinese it is 洛神花 (Luo Shen Hua) .

Between Fear and Hope

was the theme of the unexpected spectacle i had attended last night. I would say unexpected cos it was totally inovative and challenging. The dancers really were moving as driven by the music, every step as if was created to this note or that beat and were taking you from fear to happiness , from love to hate, from death to life. I was amazed feeling all these feelings at once, going through the deepest parts of my soul, discovering hope underneath the surface.
It is amazing how just a small spectacle can transcend all those feelings at once. Like living in a virtual world, it is not ours but it is there and you come up with lot of questions of who and what.
The most striking was that for the part of "Sacre du Printemps" of Stravinsky, the Pina Bauch band were dancing upon a covered floor with actual and real dirt. Each step taken was traced on it to leave its mark. Like our life, every little thing leaves its footprint even if we can't see it. At the end, it is us who should pay attention cos if unseen, it is like using a part of ourselves.
To be honest, I didn't have all these thoughts last night. It is like seeing or capturing a scene in ur memory then after that u think about it and strikes u with the plain clear meaning.

Shadia

Shadia is a little girl, not more than 8 years old... she sells some glittering head thing at Khan El Khalili. She came to our table, with her little smiley face as many other beggers/sellers but unlike everyone else, she had her little own sharm. A minute then she commented on my brother's old mobile (Nokia 6150) that he like very much. Imagine this little girl giving him hard words about his mobile and how he still carries it. She was so hilarious cos she was talking so seriously... we couldn't stop laughing... at the end, she didn't want money when someone tried to offer her, she said she is not a begger, she only sells... A little girl that knows what it means to have self respect and decency, that is something so rare in our society...

Expectations, between reality and dreams

For my 200th post in my blog, trying to ask myself, what are my expectations from writing and blogging.. is it to write only for the sake of writing or to share whatever i feel is good to share with friends, family or totally strangers? is it to try to get the attention of "someone" without telling him/her directly about feelings and thoughts? is it not having anything else to do except wasting time by typing words on an empty screen??
Does it really matter what is the reason behind all this in the first place?

And when those expectations are lost, when the dreams are just more dreams carried away by the wind of time, and the reality is just another reality which is more cruel than anything else, at this point, we forget about any expectations. The high hopes are shuttered into million pieces and the dreams become nightmares. Should we forget about those dreams? Should we leave everything to the fate, whatever the outcome will be? Cos the more we have expectations in life, the more we suffer if we can't fulfill them. Does it worth all this trouble?

I try to live by the concept of give it a try even if it won't work out. At least, you wouldn't miss what could be achieved and if it turns out to the other way, you know it wasn't for you at this time. Sometimes i get discouraged, sometimes i get lost in the middle, and few rare times, i get to live just one tiny moment of true happiness, cos i feel i reached something, even if in the moments after it is gone already. And those little moments, are what give me motive to have more expectations even though most of the times, they are trashed away by little unsignificant events.

Anyway, i'm still keep searching for this point where dreams meet reality and i do have high expectations to reach it someday... until then, i guess i'll be bothering you with my posts every now and then :D

Karetas

Now in my way back to home, i pass by Kasr el Nil bridge, which is one of the oldest bridges in Cairo. This bridge is known as a place to visit, specially on summer nights, cos of the view, the Nile and all the lights around, its proximity to downtown and a famous place for friends or lovers to hangout.
With all that, comes the "kareta", this small carriage that is steered by a horse. It is mostly used by tourists or foreigners, or egyptians who want to have a quite different experience.
I wonder how people enjoy a ride in a "kareta" in the middle of all those cars and noise and pollution... shouldn't be those rides in some specific area just for the karetas for the sake of both, the karetas passengers and the car passengers?

Too much love kills the love

A couple of days ago, during an exchange of messages, the above 'quote' was mentioned as an example.. It was a first time for me to hear and it made me wondering if too much of something could kill this thing? How and Why?
If we check our daily life, like for material and physical things, it is more or less correct. Too much smoke kills or at least would affect the health. Too much water could kill the plants...
But for the non-material things, is it the same thing and why?

I think it is related to the fact that the human being needs constant change, whatever in the rythm, in the activities and to be unique.
Too much work will make us hate working and kills the ambition to excel in this domain.
if a person talks a lot, we would find that he/she becomes a boring one, with all the stories repeated.

but back to the quote that intrigues me, Too much love kills the love. Why isn't the same with hate. Wouldn't be great if the too much hatred in this world would vanish just like that? does the person have what is called a "normal selection" to which feelings are good to fill life with them and which may lead to the "self destruction"?
or is it related to that the excess of something could ruin it all? as per the prior two things, a perspon needs change and uniqueness.

Why is it difficult to say I love you?

This is a question that always had been intriguing me since long time...

why is it always when coming to feelings, we just keep them inside us?
why we don't say i love you or even i like you even if it is so obvious?
why do we have to wait till we are 500% certain before saying it?
why are we afraid from the reaction and can't act like normal grown up people? if it is a no, then it is a no, and life goes on... but yet, this is not the case for most of people, it changes everything.

why and why.... and we keep wondering and life goes by and at the end, we end up missing lot of "could be" cos we didn't have the courage for one moment to say what we really feel.

Rediscovering Egypt

The idea started by mixing two of my favourite things, visiting historical places and monuments, and photography. Both make me discover new horizons and dimensions, through photography i notice the greatness of those places, and at the same time, i'm trying to rediscover places that are hidden to the common people or to discover new aspects for the more common places.
It gives me joy to hold my camera, adjust the settings and click on the button. The result might not be as beautiful as the reality but i also keep in mind those few moments of amazement and excitment. To think what could be behind at door, or what's inside this room and to notice small details that contribute in the whole thing, to be transported to another world that used to be the real world.
I'm just happy and i hope that i could keep it up like that.... Wait for the coming adventures :)

Thank you

When your heart wants to feel happy, but your mind is preoccupied, you kind of feel lost in the middle. You want to enjoy your time but you feel there is something missing. It’s like an incomplete happiness.
And that is when you discover that your friends are the best in the world. They try to cheer you up and make you feel better. They make you for a while forget your worries and help you to face your troubles.

Love kills and resurrects

Aida, the famous Opera by Verdi, is all about Love. The love of country, the love of parents, the love of life.... the love of suffering.
As the stories goes by, we discover that the different loves struggle all together. The soldier defend his country till the last drop of blood, the daughter loves her father and obeys him even if on the account of her love... a person will think first that this is the reality, that one will sacrifice everything for his country and family but.... that's where we are wrong. True love triumphs at the end, even by death. It is not about living happily ever after, it's about living the moment knowing that the other person is just right here, breathing the same air, living and dying... The moment that it is found, nothing else matters, but really what matter more is declaring it and not keeping it for ourselves, just cos being afraid for the consequences, or waiting to be 100% sure but when this moment arrives, it may be too late...
The opera may be tragic specially at its end, but worth to see and live for the few hours outside our world, in a world of love.

S.M.S.

Our life has been shortened to an S.M.S which stands for Short Message Service. Yeah it's too short that it's the favourite way to say Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday and now even for any little event that we didn't use to care about.... it's just an SMS, sent to bunch of people, carrying no feelings, just some wishes or greetings and that's it... It's a good invention, for example when being in a meeting and need to tell a friend about something without disturbance, or when abroad and want to say hi to a friend to make him smile but certainly not to be the only way to wish friends a nice time.
i decided few years ago not send greetings through SMS. It's too impersonal. I would rather call my friends and hear their voice than typing few letters and press send...
Let's never forget that living in a tech world should not draft us away from humanity... let's get back to the old fashion world...
still, you can always send me S.M.S, with a nice word that would make me leave everything else and smile for a second or two.... :)

The first time

How many times do we try to remember when it was the first time?
the first time to do something, the first time to talk to someone, the first time to experience... sometimes we remember and we are happy about it, other times we can't remember as if it has been forever.
it doesn't matter to remember, memories can build up an imaginary world that shields us from seeing the reality. what matters is how we feel about it now, the present.
memories are just there to remind us about our existence and how we evolve into the persons we are now but they are not everything. We should take the moment and live the present.

I guess that would be one of my 2009 resolutions :).

True friendship

Few days ago, i was chatting with one of my dear friends and in the middle of our conversation he made me realise something important; true friendship is when you are just youself; when you don't have to pretend or say something just to not make any offense; you are who you are without any masks to hide behind.

Beyond dreams

I was attending a nice show of Carmen by Antonio Gades Company and I was really touched by a simple old little fat guy who may not be called a dancer yet he was entertaining everybody by his enthusiasm.

How many times we tell ourselves we can’t do it, we are not fit for that and at the end we miss real opportunities to actually do what we want to do, not just what everybody thinks we can do.

It doesn’t matter how you look or how your capabilities are, it only matters what’s in your heart and soul. If you give your best with a true passion, you’ll reach the heart of people and the more important is that you’ll reach heights far beyond your dreams…

Trip to Wadi Degla

Last week i went to a hiking trip to Wadi Degla with SS group.
Wadi Degla is a place worth to visit. It is not very far from Cairo but it's completely as if going to a different planet. The whole trip was amazing, there are no words to describe such a place. At first, as i've been before to this place, i thought it would be the same thing but i was totally wrong. Nothing was the same. I discovered that i was capable to endure such trips, to go up and down the hill, to walk and contemplate the nature.
At a certain moment, we stopped and had few moments to contemplate the nature without speaking. I should say it was a strange feeling to listen to the voice of Silence.. to be one with the nature, to communicate with the soul. Our every day life erase this from our mind. The sound of the living city is the normal thing. The sound of TV at home, family talking, telephone ringing.. those are the normal things. But Silence? what is that strange word. In our world it means saying nothing but still it's not complete silence, it's only silence of the mouth. the other Silence i experienced is like a void pulling u from anything else, like a black hole.
I wish i can do this more often. I need to talk with my inner soul. I hope u can experience this feeling at least once in ur life time.

the power of ...

These are just little thoughts i wrote in the beginning of this year but i didn't continue it i'm posting it as it is...

What's power? is it the ability to do something, or the authority, or the capacity?

Some people have all the power in their hands, other people just pretend they got the power and the rest, only are subjected to the effect of the power of the others.

If we have power does it allow us to use it as we please to do what we finally want? or this power is subjected to the needs of others?

Is a powereless man more powerful by his strength than a man with all the power in the world but without any other abilities?

I'm not only talking power of ruling like a president or a director, i'm talking about a more simpler thing, the power inside every one of us.

10 days ago...

The following story happened exactly 10 days ago...

It was around 10h30pm or 11pm. I've just finished the final exam of my spanish course, got the result which was as expected and heading to my home full of joy. I missed that feeling for a long time, feeling of self content, after achieving something, feeling of relief after hard work (ok i'm exagerating in that last thing, i didn't study hard at all)...
so, like after any class, i walk about 5 minutes to a nearby metro station to go home (metro is really good since it doesn't take time with all the traffic on the roads especially when not crowded). i was in the 1st car, dedicated for the ladies, everything was normal till a guy with his wife and kid stepped into the wagon. One young girl protested, and began to shout, it's againts the rule, he should go off the wagon.. another one disagreed saying when it's late at night there is no such rule... and so one, the more times passes, the more their voices became louder, till they almost fought with hands. everybody else was just indifferent, some were laughing, some not paying attention. i was surprised, why when someone is talking about something right nobody cares? i didn't mind that this family came or not, i was just thinking about what are the rules and they are followed or not. it's a way of living, by or off the rules. most of the people out there didn't like the young girl who overreacted cos someone broke the rules.
i didn't do also what i should do, i just kept silence, watching what's going on.. i'm not proud of myself, i was just afraid to say something, to get caught into something.. i was upset for spoiling my happy moment... and i got off the metro, wondering about the whole situation.

Back

i didn't write for a long time, convincing myself that i should only write when something touches me and that's all.... then days passes, months passes, and i don't post anything, waiting for something to shake me to write.. so i lost the main reason why i began this blog in the first place.
it doesn't matter what i write about, big or small, happy or sad. i don't have to lock everything inside myself, i should let it go.
so for who believed in me, who encouraged me, this is for you.

My laptop is a TERRORIST

For those who use the underground these days, they have probably noticed the increased security, searching bags for people going inside..
This is good, i don't mind it since it concerns the safety of people and it is the normal thing now in the world, though sometimes it makes me feel that we live in an insecure world.
After finishing something in Dokki, i headed to the metro station over there... i was stopped by a guy asking to look in the bag i carry, which i got used to it lately.. the guy ironically asked me what is this, laptop? i afirmed it, so he told me it is prohibited.. what? he offered me to go to talk with the officer inside. so i went, since i won't lose a thing... anyway i headed to the office where he was sitting, i asked him why is that, he just said we got orders and we have to obey them. so i just told them they should tell that people are upset with this decision but i guess the mentality won't change, orders are to be followed not discussed.
i left the station, very furious, but i decided not to just give up. i decided to take the risk so i walked to the following station at the opera. it isn't very far and i used to walk that distance though i was tired carrying my laptop bag under the sun (i'm still so red after my one day trip to Alex). on my way i was thinking what if i face the same situation and they don't allow me to go in, then i would have done all this for nothing, why not just take a taxi to home... but i just kept walking. i finally arrived at the opera station, i entered without being stopped by anyone, not even searching my bag!!!
i was relieved but, if there were orders, shouldn't they be followed without exceptions everywhere? isn't the opera an important place or cos rarely people use that station?
lot of questions but above all, how far things can go? will we face the day we won't be able to walk on the street cos we r afraid? will the day come when everyone is supsected till he proves the contrary? is the world going to be more crazy than it is right now?

Hope

Hope is a big word carrying lot of feelings.. hope is the source of energy that makes us able to go further, to carry on with life.. it makes u able to set goals and looking forward to achieve them..
i passed through a period where i have lost it, it was like dying slowly without noticing it, vanishing as if not existing. it takes a lot of will to get back hope, to turn upside down the situation.. sometimes a little thing reminds us with this hope that we once had, a little conversation makes u reevaluate urself, a book that makes u open ur eyes to see the light..
let us move a step forward, let us get back hope to our life...

stories and thoughts

Sharing:
a little girl, in the metro, with her mom and younger sister. the first thing she did when she opened package of buiscuits is giving a piece to a little boy sitting with his mom next to her.

Sun:
i had a day off yesterday. i took advantage to do some errands. it took me hours but i enjoyed it. walking in the street, the sun is shining (even if it was very hot), walking on the Kasr El Nil bridge.. it has been long time since i did something similar, i forgot the feeling of freedom (freedom from life).

Friends:
I went out with my friends yesterday night. They made a surprise for me and another friend, for our birthdays. i was touched, not cos of the surprise, but cos even though life takes us apart, we r still trying to stay in touch.

Decision:
I decided to change the way i live. Lately i was caught in the routine of work-home, i forgot things i used to enjoy. I was full of energy, now i feel like i'm empty person. It's time to open a new page in my life.

Korba Festival

Korba Festival or Spring Festival or whatever it is named.. It was a nice experience. They closed Baghdad street in Korba, only pedestrians. on both sides of the streets, tables, people eating, drinking, buying stuff.. kids with their parents drawing on the street with chalks or paintings. You can see people of all ages, the old and the young, the rich and the poor. There was a little parade but actually just few cars with little decorations for the sponsor, not impressive at all. Only 2 bands played on stage. I believe that if they made it from morning, with different bands to play, it would be more interesting, to discover different types of music. I don't say it wasn't nice, on the contrary, Wust el Balad performed and they were really great.

There are 2 things that really touched me, the place, you could feel that you are transported to a strange, with all th placee specific architecture of El Korba, and the ambiance in the place. It was very charming. The 2nd thing is that i really had a great time with my brother, it has been long time that we didn't do something together. i enjoyed it a lot and somehow i forgot what i was missing. It was a nice day though i wished for a better ending.

can you find the ressemblance?

it's my life

It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive

listening to this song among others, looking through the window at people in the streets, as if i am in a small glass ball watching the world going round while i'm away from everything, nothing in my mind, no worries, no thoughts... just me out there.
try to enjoy one moment every now and then cos sometimes we forget to enjoy living and we end up in the endless loop of life.

Iraq after 4 years...

Today, my aunt who is living till now in Baghdad and 2 of my cousins arrived to Egypt. I was so excited to meet them and get to know them, after all those years (can't say i knew them, we were so young last time we met).
i only passed about 2-3 hours with them today, but it was enough to feel strange. really, what i heard today is beyong any thinking. i can't imagine how they are living, and how they are telling all those stories as a normal thing.
i decided to tell some of them, even if it is not so nice, cos the truth must be told, the stories of the common iraquis must be heard.
i'm sorry if i'll make you more depressed, or more upset, but i just feel i must do this.

i don't know from what to begin, just imagine that they don't have electricity (it would be great if 1 hour in the day), it is freezing, no heat, no light. it is not safe to be outside from 3pm. what is the life if u can't do anything, when u don't have the luxury that normal people have or should have, to just feel safe when u go to work or university, to walk on the street with no fear, to be able to sleep in ur bed knowing that nothing can harm u.

one of my uncles, when going to jordan by bus, el kaeda members stopped the bus and asked if there are any shiites.. well, they asked them to pray, to make sure that they are all sunnis as they said. they would kill if shiit. they took my uncle (who is christian), and held him for a night. anyway nothing happened to him thank God. the "amir" of this group is a 22 years old Saudi guy. Do u know that one to be "amir", has just to kill 10 people to get this title.

it is not safe to go from a place to another, people make false papers, so if i a sunni area, they have paper with sunni last name, or the contrary if going to shiite area. no where is safe, no one is safe. Is this democracy they r shouting night and day in the news and in every interview? i doubt. it is as my brother said, the democracy to kill anyone.
do u know that in some places, they go to a house and kick people living in it, with nothing but their cloth, just to make the area theirs.

i am still under chock of what i heard. i knew the situation was so bad, but when meeting my relatives and hear it from them is totally different than hearing it on the news (though even the news, don't tell details about the normal, average, iraquis).

i'll stop now cos i have nothing more to say

12 days of the Year (to be continued)

On the 1st day of the year,
my boss has asked me
to create the dummy neighbours

On the 2nd day of the year,
my boss has asked me
to create the CSV files
to create the dummy neighbours

On the 3rd day of the year,
my boss has asked me
to use my laptop
to create the CSV files
to create the dummy neighbours

On the 4th day of the year,
my boss has asked me
to try shisha
to use my laptop
to create the CSV files
to create the dummy neighbours

On the 5th day of the year,
my boss has asked me
not to sleep early
to try shisha
to use my laptop
to create the CSV files
to create the dummy neighbours
______________________________________________________
Notes:
I began to write this when i had the flue
"My boss" just for the rhythm of the song only, no hard feelings :)
"dummy neighbours" and "CSV" are work terminology

Goodbye 2006

I didn't really want to talk about my 2006, but as it was my idea in the 1st place here and Blue started it, so here i am.

What i would like to achieve in 2007 is to determine what i want for my life. i know it sounds big, but really i discovered when facing some personal issues that i simply don't know... it is an important question to answer, yet the answer is not as simple as that. it may take a year or two, but at least what i wish is to be on the right track.

2006 was a special year, full of joyful and less joyful events. what had impacted me the most is my trip to jordan, with its ups and downs... i'm thankful that i was able to do it before it's too late.

xmas spirit

i don't know why i feel happy. maybe it is the xmas spirit.... anyway it feels good.
hope u catch it too :)

foggy (not froggy)

this morning, while going to work in the bus as i do everyday, things were different. it was very crowded, we took longer time cos of the fog and the accidents (on the me7war).
it was very strange, to see fog so intense, even when looking through the window, i felt it, the air was whity, not clear.. i felt that it is like my life, i can't see what's ahead of me like this morning i couldn't see the adds on the sides of the road. the road exists, and we just roll on ahead, following the flow.. is life like this, following the flow, going on the one track that i can't see where it leads? then at the sudden, i discover myself in a totally strange place, not knowing how i arrived there, feeling lost. lost and stranger, in the middle of noisy life, not able to catch the singing of birds, the whistle of the wind. the wind travels from place to place, carrying all feelings of the earth, people, and living beings. it should carry hope, love and peace, but all i can see is a storm turning me upside down, or should i say it is the storm inside me. what is in me? all i see is emptiness, nothing. like the car on the road in the middle of the fog, i'm trapped in the emptiness of myself...

Goodbye

Rien / Nothing

Qu'y a-t-il de plus jouissif que de s'arrêter de penser? Cesser enfin ce flot débordant d'idées plus ou moins utiles ou plus ou moins importantes. S'arrêter de penser! Comme si on était mort tout en pouvant redevenir vivant. Etre le vide. Retourner aux origines suprêmes. N'être même plus quelqu'un qui ne pense à rien. Etre rien. Voilà une noble ambition.

extrait du livre "Les Fourmis" de Bernard Werber

Translation
What is more enjoying than stop thinking? to finally cease all those ideas flowing more or less useful, more or less important. Stop thinking! As if we had died while being capable to become alive again. To be the vacuum. Return to the supreme origins. Not to be someone who doesn't think of nothing. To be nothing. This is a noble ambition.

from the book "the Ants" by Bernard Werber


I was reading this book the past few days, and this passage just moved me... maybe cos i have lot of free time to think these days, and sometimes wondering too much about an issue makes it hard, cos u end up asking too many questions, not knowing the answer, not knowing what to do cos obviously thinking too much leads u to several roads and at the end u don't know which one to choose.

adventures = ?

r u curious about the answer? try to guess...
well it is difficult, since what i'm going to say doesn't happen a lot.
ok, here is my little story, for u it will be very funny, and u'll say the poor girl, what a luck!
Here is the whole story... just don't laugh too much :)
everyday i come back to the hotel, i notice a small pizzeria near it, on the corner of the street. by the way pizzerias and taxi phone (shop for talking on the phone) r everywhere in Algeria.
I decided today, since i was a little hungry and well i thought it would be nice to go out for a little on my own, to go and have lunch there.
There was a even a movie on the tv, and i wanted to see it, but i told myself i have to go out, not stay in the hotel as almost everyday.
so, i went out and.. as soon as i stepped out in the street, it began to ran. i decided, it just just 2 steps, i can just walk quickly and arrive at the pizzeria, and have dinner and hopefully rain will stop by then. actually, things didn't go as planned. first in the few mintues i walked, i was like drowned. i always try to look to the bright side, i don't get to walk under heavy rain a lot in cairo.
but sometimes the bright is too bright that it makes u so blind and u see it dark. well it wasn't only the rain. there is a cafeteria beside the pizzeria, i just entered for shelter from the rain, and well thought i can find something to eat like sandwich or a meal. well, i was surprised that they told me there is no food, no sandwich, no french fries, nothing except croissant and drinks. they told me if i come earlier, at 3-4pm, there will be but since it is 5h30pm, everything is finished. it is so weired. in egypt, any cafe, u find food anytimes, sometimes u ask for something and there is not, but i never faced a situation like that.
anyway i decided to take a croissant and a pepsi, and to wait for the rain to stop. i waited about an hour, sitting on a chair that is not very stable, watching the sky, feeling like i'm out of the picture. it was crowded, no girls or women, young guys talking loud... and i just was sitting there thinking my sense of adventure got me to that point... then i rememberd a friend telling me that he doesn't like the number 13. i don't believe in that stuff, but at this moment, i just smiled and told myself, he is right today ;-)
well it ended that the rain became light, so i just walk out back to the hotel. and i'll probably have a yogourt or cereale for the dinner tonight.
see.. this is what adventures lead to :-)

Destination Kourou 99

7 years ago, from 5/9 till 14/9, i had the most wonderful trip of my life.
it all began in the year 1998/1999. it was a competition between schools, and at the end, we were 9 winners, from 9 schools.
we didn't just win a 10 days trip, we won something more important, friendship, which is priceless.
i can't believe that it has been actually 7 years since we travelled. i still remember our first meeting, we barely knew each other, we were gathered by fate.
now, after 7 years, we graduated from universities, we have different carriers... each one of us had his own life but, we still have this common thing that bond us together, Kourou.
we shared great memories together, even after our return to egypt, with the famous Tomber la Chemise ;)
I miss u all, i wish i was there to celebrate.

Egyptians in the eye of Algerians

i heard many things from algerians i met about egyptians & egypt..

the most funny one is that egyptians have a big table on breakfast, eat a lot of things. and this comment was by many, not one only. they have this picture from the egyptian movies.
when i tell them that i eat bigger breakfast in hotel here than in egypt, they were surprised.
breakfast for algerians, just coffee and maybe croissant.

algerian women like to watch egyptian series (el mosalsalat). it is very important for them.
so u can imagine what is the idea about egypt.
this is the reason why it is more easy for algerians to understand egyptians rather than the contrary.

they see egypt as a big country, with a big civilization.
very crowded, live and noisy.

egyptians still preserve their identity. u see cos of the colonization by the french, they got a lot of things from the french. it affected everything from the style of life till even the language, all algerians speak french, and they use it daily also, not only arabic.

Road to Algeria

I heard that Algeria is a nice country to visit, but you should see it yourself to judge.
But to get there, it is not easy, especially if your flying in Algerian Airways. At the ticket office, they told me to be at the airport 3 hours before the flight, i think they should have said, 2 hours after the flight. ok i'm exagerating a little, but our flight was delayed 1h30. we were supposed to fly at 16h15, they annouced boarding at 17h00, we took off at 18h45 (you never forget exactly the time of everything if you are in that kind of situations.. lol)
Anyway, i thought that it was some kind of emergency that caused that delay... but i found at later that this is the normal, the plane is always delayed 1 hour at least.
The plane was very small, very crowded, no entertainment at all, no TV (only screens to see where we are in earth, to wish to just arrive as soon as possible), even no radio (this is the least in the aeroplanes, for a 4 hour trip).
The only good thing that made me forget all about that, was the good company. i was sitting next to the corridor, on my right, was a young woman and her mother, both algerians, on the other side of the corridor was a young girl, 19 years old, algerian too.
it made the trip totally different, we talked about everything, about differences between our cultures, it is very interesting.
We finally arrived, landing was a little bit hard, but we made it safely. there was a funny thing, my friends warned me that algeriansw will get up and open the hatch for hand luggage, before the plane is completely parked. and they did, and the crew had to just ask everybody to sit down several times.
anyway after finishing the passport thing and get my passport, went out to look for the driver that was supposed to pick me up. well i found a guy with a paper written on it the name of the company but with a name of another guy. so i asked him is there another driver from the company, he answered no, i asked if he knew there would be someone waiting for me, negative answer too. i went to try and look for someone else, didn't find, so i returned back again to ask, he said he is waiting for a guy. so since i had colleagues in algeria, i just contacted them and they told that the driver is in the airport. you won't believe this... it was that guy, he was supposed to pick me and 2 other guys, and had even my name in the schedule.. i don't know if he thought my name was a boy's name or what.. anyway finally after maybe an hour, we left the airport just me and one of the guys, the 3rd one whose name was on the paper didn't show up.
so.. after that long day, sleeping was the best to do :)

to be continued

Back

I officially announce Foggy's World in the new look.
Also i can say that Froggy is back :)

Bye Bye Andre

Andre Agassi, after a long career, played his last match yesterday at the US Open.
I'm not going to talk about his achivements throughout his long carrier, i'll leave it to others cos it is easy to get the records.
what i want to say is what i feel personnaly about him as a person. I began to have interest in tennis in the early 90's, and Andre was the first tennis player i cheered for. I still remember him, with his long yellow hair.
after that period, i don't have much memories about him, till i saw him playing in the French Open in 1999. and i almost didn't like him at that period, i don't know why, but when u just don't like the guy. maybe cos his image had changed from the time i watched him, maybe cos he had beaten my favourite player in that tournment (the 98 champion)...
anyway what struck me most, during that match, that though he was far beyond, he came back in the final to win it. he never gives up, he is dedicated himself to what he is doing.
so over the past few years, i was just pleased to know he his playing around even though lately not that much. He had proved that it is not all about the age, it is about the heart, though there are younger players with more energy, he was still present in tennis courts with his hardwork and his love for the game.
it is rare to find nowadays people doing their job with so much dedication, love, respect without being caught in the routine of life.
so, farewell Andre, will miss u.

CHANGES

I changed to the new beta version of blogger as u had probably noticed.
I didn't finish yet the whole changes, i'll announce when i'll complete labeling all my posts (i didn't realize it would be a huge task :) )
I hope with the new layout, i'll have a new start.
If u have any comment about it, let me know.
By the way, i changed to the blue cos it is my favourite colour

for the memory of the past that i'll never forget

sorry for not writing for a while. i'll only keep posting on my photo blog for the time being.

thanks to free soul, for those lyrics.

http://freesoul83.blogspot.com/2006/08/so-hard-to-say-goodbye.html

If you know what you want in life, then you have all you need to manage to make your dream come true.

Demonstration in Tahrir

no comment

i wish i had something to say that is far away from war and suffering.
i wish i was millions away from this world that seem so embarissing.
what is gone to the world? what happened to the people?
i couldn't watch tv cos changing channels didn't change the news.
even where i am, there was a bomb. i didn't hear explosion, but sure it was a reminder of what the world had turned to.
i don't care what happens next, cos this world is not worthy to live in. life is not like movies where at the end everything ends happily. no, this is not the real world. maybe i was too naive, to believe in those dreams till now, maybe i was too blind to see, or i wanted to believe what i wanted to see. i had dreams, i had hopes, i was living in a child's world.

thought

the hardest thing is to let go not cos u hate but cos u love

first impressions on Karachi

well.. this time i'm in Asia, not Africa. i'm in Karachi, Pakistan.
Karachi is a city by the sea, the weather is hot (like egypt) but more humid. it is very crowded, population in pakistan is around 150 millions.
driving is worse than in egypt (never thought there are worst drivers than egyptians until i arrived here).
there are a lot of motorcycles, toc toc, and very colorful microbus (will try to catch in photo).
people are trying to be friendly but the problem is that not a lot talk english.. even my driver, doesn't know english very much (i thought first i'm not used to the accent of the pakistanis, but i discovered than he doesn't know english at all, just few words hotel, office...)
it is the only country i visited where they put a camera right in front of you in the airport when stamping the passport at the checkout.

Food specialities:

Attieké: it grains of Manioc cooked like couscous (equivalent to rice)
Foutou: (i don’t know how it is done or what is it exactly but also replacement of rice)
Deje: kind of juice, made of yogurt, seeds of wheet. (Very sweet).
Tchep: method to cook rice
Alloco: fried banana

Notes:
Ivorians like spices a lot.
Also they eat a lot fish and meat.
There are some Lebanese restaurants (Lebanese are everywhere in African countries in general).

Akwaba (welcome)

i'm back to egypt after a month in Abidjan (biggest city in Côte d'Ivoire).
i decided to make a different coverage about my trip, it will not be just writing what i did or see, but about small things that touched me in a way or other.

i stayed overall 1 month (2 weeks extra). i didn't have much time to go around and discover the country cos i had a lot of work to do, but i tried as much as i can to talk about different issues with ivorians (mostly with Adam my driver).

well, i think i'll continue later, not really in mood now.

hi from abidjan

i'm currently in cote d'ivoire for work. i don't have time to post, i'll post about my trip when back in cairo after 10 days
so take care till then

back

it has been a while since i wrote anything due to work and life.. but here i am. i don't talk about what everybody talks about these days... not cos i don't have something to say but cos i just feel that i want to think about other things, and cos i guess that u can find discussions about all that.

never mind, i'll just write what i wanted to say today in my post :)

i was confronted to 2 persons today that made me surprised in their behavior. the 1st person, was an officer. these guys are usually poor, and in my opinion, they suffer too. he was, with 2 others, at the door of the embassy of Ivory Coast. i wanted to enter, so he showed me the way, cos to enter, u have to go in the garden around the building till u arrive to the stairs.
after i finished and i came down, i found him and showed me the way out. i thought that he did it cos he wanted to take tips (i usually don't like those situations) so i took 1LE out of my pocket but he refused (now i was embarrassed).

the 2nd person was a taxi driver. i took a taxi from Tahrir Square to Zamalek. just after i entered he said to discuss the fair saying that petrol prices are higher (in egypt they are not going up, they just made a new more expensive type of petrol but the old types still the same). he wanted a big price compared to the distance (he asked for what i would pay to go from Tahrir to Heliopolis). and i wanted to pay half what he asked for. anyway, i payed him more than i was intending to do, but he didn't like it and asked for more. i just wanted to say that maybe i won't deal with him again, but treating customers like this, will make them to dislike him.
just after that situation; i thought about the 1st guy, and the differences between the 2 situations and the 2 people.

3 explosions + holiday + sinai

does it ring bells?

i can't express what i feel. what is that world? explosions every where, people killed any time.. for what???

looking for nothing

after working almost 24 hours a day (i only slept one hour last night, or i should say this morning), all i want is to have a time off and do NOTHING.
i don't know what i'll do the next few days, fortunatly it is vacation, so i'll take maybe a day or two not to think about the rest of the work to be done.
all i want to do is sleep, say sorry if the last few days i was not so nice with people, and enjoy the nothing and stay away from my pc.
i guess it is time to go and sleeeeeeep and enjoy no one wakes me up, (not my mom, not the alarm)
by the way, in the case i sleep till tuesday (ya reit), Happy Easter and Happy Sham El Nassim.

song

L'hymne à l'amour by Edith Piaf (1949)

Le ciel bleu sur nous peut s'effondrer
Et la terre peut bien s'écrouler
Peu m'importe si tu m'aimes
Je me fous du monde entier
Tant qu'l'amour inond'ra mes matins
Tant que mon corps frémira sous tes mains
Peu m'importe les problèmes
Mon amour puisque tu m'aimes

J'irais jusqu'au bout du monde
Je me ferais teindre en blonde
Si tu me le demandais
J'irais décrocher la lune
J'irais voler la fortune
Si tu me le demandais

Je renierais ma patrie
Je renierais mes amis
Si tu me le demandais
On peut bien rire de moi
Je ferais n'importe quoi
Si tu me le demandais

Si un jour la vie t'arrache à moi
Si tu meurs que tu sois loin de moi
Peu m'importe si tu m'aimes
Car moi je mourrais aussi
Nous aurons pour nous l'éternité
Dans le bleu de toute l'immensité
Dans le ciel plus de problèmes
Mon amour crois-tu qu'on s'aime
Dieu réunit ceux qui s'aiment

advise

try to benefit from the moment of happiness cos they are getting rare in this world

not in mood

not in mood to blog anything these days, so please accept my silence.

why falling?

I like to know about languages and stories behind words or sentences.
today, on my home from work, there was a lot of traffic so we took more time than the usual. a strange thought crossed my mind. the saying "falling in love" is the same in english, arabic and french. (usually expressions differ from one language to another).
i was thinking, why the verb "falling"? well, i believe that it is inapropiate cos when someone is in love, he is not falling but he is going on the opposit way, as if on a high cloud in the sky, so that he doesn't see what's under him. when you are in love, you are feeling like flying away from everything but not falling at all :).
also people say that when you love, you are free. i believe that it is not that totally true cos you could be liberated but still there are new bounds in your life (even if nice bounds), the simplest thing is that when you are in love, you are not alone, there is the other person, so as much as there is freedom, as much as that you become more attached.

msn beda2y

my friends and me were in a place with very loud music so that we couldn't hear our conversations very good... so this was the solution :)
it was really fun.

few days ago i was faced with the question why i created my blog?
i couldn't find a specific answer to that question at that time, but i guess i discovered the answer when i checked some of what i wrote during the last year. i discovered what is life about. it is about the little things we see or feel, but without sharing all that, we lose something of it.

looking back to the past year, i feel i'm older (not just adding a number to my age), but older with all the experiences i had, the good and the bad.
i know that i changed a lot, i'm not the same person as i was.

sometimes i feel so happy, sometimes i feel so bad, but i learned that friends are there all the time, u just have to trust them, i hope i'll be able to do it and break the walls around me.

Graduation

prayer

let's pray for peace and for all the people suffering in the world.
time goes by but the feelings never die.
it may take a year or two, or even five, but there is still hope alive.
so when you go to sleep tonight, say a prayer to end the fights.

surprising scene

few days ago, i was in a taxi in dokki and the street was a little crowded, so we were moving with moderate speed. we crossed by a woman, in a wheel chair, opening the driver's door to enter.
i was happy to see that. i know that there are not a lot of facilities for the disabled (almost inexistant) so i was suprised and at the same time i was excited about it so i'm sharing this with u cos instead of her disability + the lack of facilities in the country, she was able to drive a car. if i saw the same woman in another country, i wouldn't be as much surprised as to c her in cairo.

30 September 1945

This is an extract from the journal of Dr. Michihiko Hyachiya, a Japenese doctor who was in Hiroshima when the 1st atomic bomb in the world was dropped, the 6th of august 1945.
in his journal, he writes about what he felt, what he observed (it was the 1st time to see such symptoms for radiation, they didn't know what was it at first), as a doctor and as a survivor.
this is extract is a converstion between the doctor and an american soldier who was visiting the hospital, after the japense emperor had announced the defeat and americans began to arrive in the city.

30 September 1945
... one of them standing near the window said suddenly,
- and you what do you think about the bombardement?
- i am buddhist i answered, and since childhood i was taught to resign. I lost myhome and my health but i consider myself a lucky man because my life and my wife's were preserved.
- i can't share your sentiments, said the young american soldier. in your place, i think i would make a lawsuit to the responsible country.
He was still there for a moment, contemplating the ruins before leaving.
Longtime afterwards, i had the feeling hearing him saying: "making a lawsuit to the country... making a lawsuit..."
i had the feeling that that these words will remain incomprehensible forever.

P.S. i translate this from french
it was published in Science & Vie no 1055 August 2005

My New Blog

i'll post in the new blog events (concerts, exhibition... ) in egypt and it will be updated weekly.
i got this idea cos i receive a lot of mails about events or read in the newspaper... so i guess it would be nice if everything is gathered in one place.
i started by putting music events... starting from next month, i'll add other events such as exhibitions, conferences...
i hope u'll enjoy it.
here is the link: http://eventsinegypt.blogspot.com/

dedicated to my friends

i had a weird feeling today. i believe that even good friends, when time passes and each one goes in a separate way, this friendship fade a little and becomes weaker. but today, i met/ talked to friends i didn't meet for a long time (some for months), all in one day at different times.
i discovered how happy i was, and i felt that it was just like yesterday that we last met, and most important, i felt that this friendship didn't die no matter what happened, and i realized that i miss them even if i don't admit it.

faculty of engineering, cairo univ, 100 years ago...

Le Clemenceau fait demi tour

Few weeks ago, there were some concerns about Le Clemenceau (a french military ship) to continue its trip to India where it was going to be dismantled and disamianted (not sure about this word). It stayed a week in Suez Canal before allowing to continue its trip to India.
And now according to La Tribune, arrived to destination, it will go back to France to reexamine it and determine how much dangerous material is on it (officially they say it is around 40 tons of amiant but some reports say it is far more than that).
but this time, the way back to France will not pass by Suez Canal, but all around Africa.

This is how things should go, even if this operation will cost a lot of money for the country, even if at the end they will discover someone hided the truth of how much it is dangerous, they are not afraid to admit they were wrong and assume theire responsabilities and show the example to the rest of the world.

when u look back to ur life back till this moment...
time passes so fast but u just remember it as if yesterday...
things may go up and down...
u may learn new things about urself...
u may discover new feelings...
but in reality, u r just growing...
and this is the beauty of life