For my 200th post in my blog, trying to ask myself, what are my expectations from writing and blogging.. is it to write only for the sake of writing or to share whatever i feel is good to share with friends, family or totally strangers? is it to try to get the attention of "someone" without telling him/her directly about feelings and thoughts? is it not having anything else to do except wasting time by typing words on an empty screen??
Does it really matter what is the reason behind all this in the first place?
And when those expectations are lost, when the dreams are just more dreams carried away by the wind of time, and the reality is just another reality which is more cruel than anything else, at this point, we forget about any expectations. The high hopes are shuttered into million pieces and the dreams become nightmares. Should we forget about those dreams? Should we leave everything to the fate, whatever the outcome will be? Cos the more we have expectations in life, the more we suffer if we can't fulfill them. Does it worth all this trouble?
I try to live by the concept of give it a try even if it won't work out. At least, you wouldn't miss what could be achieved and if it turns out to the other way, you know it wasn't for you at this time. Sometimes i get discouraged, sometimes i get lost in the middle, and few rare times, i get to live just one tiny moment of true happiness, cos i feel i reached something, even if in the moments after it is gone already. And those little moments, are what give me motive to have more expectations even though most of the times, they are trashed away by little unsignificant events.
Anyway, i'm still keep searching for this point where dreams meet reality and i do have high expectations to reach it someday... until then, i guess i'll be bothering you with my posts every now and then :D
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