The day after

Why i can't feel happiness like everybody because our national team won the Afrcian Cup of Nations again breaking records? Why all i can see in the morning is the garbage in the streets after people celebrating all night? why do i feel sad, just after 10 minutes of the last whistle and holding the cup? I don't care if we had lost, of course happy that we won but if we had lost, i wouldn't be so sad. I feel that we forget far more important things in our life and we just think of winning a game. And now what, we won the cup and then? What about tomorrow, what about the day after?

Agora

In the adventure of discovering new movies, out of the current trend of movies played in the cinemas, Agora was the one who caught most my attention.

It is a movie directed by Alejandro Amenábar. The story takes place in ancient Alexandria, about a woman, Hypatia, who was a scholar, avid for science and teaching. What is the most striking about this movie is that it can the every day story, no matter when, who or where. The long fight between the fanatism and the believes. How everything can be manipulated in such a way that at the end, we forget what is the origin of all things. When the love for religion becomes fight for supermacy, the differences between people emphasis the distances and search for glory becomes the main concern.

Shouldn't we learn from history... that history that we neglect and we only remember the facts like the date of the wars or the name of the kings and queens... but what about the history of the people who lived? how people where thinking and coexisting with as much diversity as nowadays? we know nothing, although this is what we ought to know in order to undersand better the past and the present. I'm not saying we should learn from the past but that we should look at it from another point of view, a more human view than a historical one.

Ressemblance and Diversity

We share the same continent, yet we are different.... not the same language, not the same color, not even the same religion and yet, we discovered although these differences, we do share one small thing (beside working in the same company) which is Hibisicus, herb used to make a red colored drink or more commonly knows as Karkade in Egypt and Bissap in Senegal.

If we don't try the "other" things, we miss the experience and we miss the discovery of the resemblance. I think this is what is lacking in our world. If we try what's different, we might feel that we are more alike. If we care to know something that might be insignificant like the local name of a local drink, our perspective would have change.

But as every thing else in our world, we are afraid from "what is not like what we know" and we don't even have the urge to do try something new or different cos we are more comfortable with what we know already. and this lead us to live in a bubble, not daring even to see what's outside and the bubble becomes blurry till we can't even see what is just under our nose.

from wiki: different names in different places

It is also known as meśta/meshta on the Indian subcontinent, Tengamora in Assam,Gongura in Telugu,chin baung in Myanmar, กระเจี๊ยบ krajeab in Thailand, bissap in Senegal, Guinea Bissau, Mali, Burkina Faso, Ghana, Benin andNiger, the Congo and France, dah or dah bleni in other parts of Mali, wonjo in the Gambia, zobo in Nigeria (the Yorubas in Nigeria call the white variety Isapa (pronounced Ishapa)), karkade (كركديه; Arabic pronunciation: [ˈkarkade]) in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and Sudan, omutete in Namibia,sorrel in the Caribbean and in Latin America, Flor de Jamaica in Mexico, Saril in Panama, rosela in Indonesia, asam paya or asam susur in Malaysia. In Chinese it is 洛神花 (Luo Shen Hua) .

Between Fear and Hope

was the theme of the unexpected spectacle i had attended last night. I would say unexpected cos it was totally inovative and challenging. The dancers really were moving as driven by the music, every step as if was created to this note or that beat and were taking you from fear to happiness , from love to hate, from death to life. I was amazed feeling all these feelings at once, going through the deepest parts of my soul, discovering hope underneath the surface.
It is amazing how just a small spectacle can transcend all those feelings at once. Like living in a virtual world, it is not ours but it is there and you come up with lot of questions of who and what.
The most striking was that for the part of "Sacre du Printemps" of Stravinsky, the Pina Bauch band were dancing upon a covered floor with actual and real dirt. Each step taken was traced on it to leave its mark. Like our life, every little thing leaves its footprint even if we can't see it. At the end, it is us who should pay attention cos if unseen, it is like using a part of ourselves.
To be honest, I didn't have all these thoughts last night. It is like seeing or capturing a scene in ur memory then after that u think about it and strikes u with the plain clear meaning.

Shadia

Shadia is a little girl, not more than 8 years old... she sells some glittering head thing at Khan El Khalili. She came to our table, with her little smiley face as many other beggers/sellers but unlike everyone else, she had her little own sharm. A minute then she commented on my brother's old mobile (Nokia 6150) that he like very much. Imagine this little girl giving him hard words about his mobile and how he still carries it. She was so hilarious cos she was talking so seriously... we couldn't stop laughing... at the end, she didn't want money when someone tried to offer her, she said she is not a begger, she only sells... A little girl that knows what it means to have self respect and decency, that is something so rare in our society...

Expectations, between reality and dreams

For my 200th post in my blog, trying to ask myself, what are my expectations from writing and blogging.. is it to write only for the sake of writing or to share whatever i feel is good to share with friends, family or totally strangers? is it to try to get the attention of "someone" without telling him/her directly about feelings and thoughts? is it not having anything else to do except wasting time by typing words on an empty screen??
Does it really matter what is the reason behind all this in the first place?

And when those expectations are lost, when the dreams are just more dreams carried away by the wind of time, and the reality is just another reality which is more cruel than anything else, at this point, we forget about any expectations. The high hopes are shuttered into million pieces and the dreams become nightmares. Should we forget about those dreams? Should we leave everything to the fate, whatever the outcome will be? Cos the more we have expectations in life, the more we suffer if we can't fulfill them. Does it worth all this trouble?

I try to live by the concept of give it a try even if it won't work out. At least, you wouldn't miss what could be achieved and if it turns out to the other way, you know it wasn't for you at this time. Sometimes i get discouraged, sometimes i get lost in the middle, and few rare times, i get to live just one tiny moment of true happiness, cos i feel i reached something, even if in the moments after it is gone already. And those little moments, are what give me motive to have more expectations even though most of the times, they are trashed away by little unsignificant events.

Anyway, i'm still keep searching for this point where dreams meet reality and i do have high expectations to reach it someday... until then, i guess i'll be bothering you with my posts every now and then :D

Karetas

Now in my way back to home, i pass by Kasr el Nil bridge, which is one of the oldest bridges in Cairo. This bridge is known as a place to visit, specially on summer nights, cos of the view, the Nile and all the lights around, its proximity to downtown and a famous place for friends or lovers to hangout.
With all that, comes the "kareta", this small carriage that is steered by a horse. It is mostly used by tourists or foreigners, or egyptians who want to have a quite different experience.
I wonder how people enjoy a ride in a "kareta" in the middle of all those cars and noise and pollution... shouldn't be those rides in some specific area just for the karetas for the sake of both, the karetas passengers and the car passengers?

Too much love kills the love

A couple of days ago, during an exchange of messages, the above 'quote' was mentioned as an example.. It was a first time for me to hear and it made me wondering if too much of something could kill this thing? How and Why?
If we check our daily life, like for material and physical things, it is more or less correct. Too much smoke kills or at least would affect the health. Too much water could kill the plants...
But for the non-material things, is it the same thing and why?

I think it is related to the fact that the human being needs constant change, whatever in the rythm, in the activities and to be unique.
Too much work will make us hate working and kills the ambition to excel in this domain.
if a person talks a lot, we would find that he/she becomes a boring one, with all the stories repeated.

but back to the quote that intrigues me, Too much love kills the love. Why isn't the same with hate. Wouldn't be great if the too much hatred in this world would vanish just like that? does the person have what is called a "normal selection" to which feelings are good to fill life with them and which may lead to the "self destruction"?
or is it related to that the excess of something could ruin it all? as per the prior two things, a perspon needs change and uniqueness.

Why is it difficult to say I love you?

This is a question that always had been intriguing me since long time...

why is it always when coming to feelings, we just keep them inside us?
why we don't say i love you or even i like you even if it is so obvious?
why do we have to wait till we are 500% certain before saying it?
why are we afraid from the reaction and can't act like normal grown up people? if it is a no, then it is a no, and life goes on... but yet, this is not the case for most of people, it changes everything.

why and why.... and we keep wondering and life goes by and at the end, we end up missing lot of "could be" cos we didn't have the courage for one moment to say what we really feel.

Rediscovering Egypt

The idea started by mixing two of my favourite things, visiting historical places and monuments, and photography. Both make me discover new horizons and dimensions, through photography i notice the greatness of those places, and at the same time, i'm trying to rediscover places that are hidden to the common people or to discover new aspects for the more common places.
It gives me joy to hold my camera, adjust the settings and click on the button. The result might not be as beautiful as the reality but i also keep in mind those few moments of amazement and excitment. To think what could be behind at door, or what's inside this room and to notice small details that contribute in the whole thing, to be transported to another world that used to be the real world.
I'm just happy and i hope that i could keep it up like that.... Wait for the coming adventures :)

Thank you

When your heart wants to feel happy, but your mind is preoccupied, you kind of feel lost in the middle. You want to enjoy your time but you feel there is something missing. It’s like an incomplete happiness.
And that is when you discover that your friends are the best in the world. They try to cheer you up and make you feel better. They make you for a while forget your worries and help you to face your troubles.

Love kills and resurrects

Aida, the famous Opera by Verdi, is all about Love. The love of country, the love of parents, the love of life.... the love of suffering.
As the stories goes by, we discover that the different loves struggle all together. The soldier defend his country till the last drop of blood, the daughter loves her father and obeys him even if on the account of her love... a person will think first that this is the reality, that one will sacrifice everything for his country and family but.... that's where we are wrong. True love triumphs at the end, even by death. It is not about living happily ever after, it's about living the moment knowing that the other person is just right here, breathing the same air, living and dying... The moment that it is found, nothing else matters, but really what matter more is declaring it and not keeping it for ourselves, just cos being afraid for the consequences, or waiting to be 100% sure but when this moment arrives, it may be too late...
The opera may be tragic specially at its end, but worth to see and live for the few hours outside our world, in a world of love.

S.M.S.

Our life has been shortened to an S.M.S which stands for Short Message Service. Yeah it's too short that it's the favourite way to say Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday and now even for any little event that we didn't use to care about.... it's just an SMS, sent to bunch of people, carrying no feelings, just some wishes or greetings and that's it... It's a good invention, for example when being in a meeting and need to tell a friend about something without disturbance, or when abroad and want to say hi to a friend to make him smile but certainly not to be the only way to wish friends a nice time.
i decided few years ago not send greetings through SMS. It's too impersonal. I would rather call my friends and hear their voice than typing few letters and press send...
Let's never forget that living in a tech world should not draft us away from humanity... let's get back to the old fashion world...
still, you can always send me S.M.S, with a nice word that would make me leave everything else and smile for a second or two.... :)

The first time

How many times do we try to remember when it was the first time?
the first time to do something, the first time to talk to someone, the first time to experience... sometimes we remember and we are happy about it, other times we can't remember as if it has been forever.
it doesn't matter to remember, memories can build up an imaginary world that shields us from seeing the reality. what matters is how we feel about it now, the present.
memories are just there to remind us about our existence and how we evolve into the persons we are now but they are not everything. We should take the moment and live the present.

I guess that would be one of my 2009 resolutions :).

True friendship

Few days ago, i was chatting with one of my dear friends and in the middle of our conversation he made me realise something important; true friendship is when you are just youself; when you don't have to pretend or say something just to not make any offense; you are who you are without any masks to hide behind.

Beyond dreams

I was attending a nice show of Carmen by Antonio Gades Company and I was really touched by a simple old little fat guy who may not be called a dancer yet he was entertaining everybody by his enthusiasm.

How many times we tell ourselves we can’t do it, we are not fit for that and at the end we miss real opportunities to actually do what we want to do, not just what everybody thinks we can do.

It doesn’t matter how you look or how your capabilities are, it only matters what’s in your heart and soul. If you give your best with a true passion, you’ll reach the heart of people and the more important is that you’ll reach heights far beyond your dreams…

Trip to Wadi Degla

Last week i went to a hiking trip to Wadi Degla with SS group.
Wadi Degla is a place worth to visit. It is not very far from Cairo but it's completely as if going to a different planet. The whole trip was amazing, there are no words to describe such a place. At first, as i've been before to this place, i thought it would be the same thing but i was totally wrong. Nothing was the same. I discovered that i was capable to endure such trips, to go up and down the hill, to walk and contemplate the nature.
At a certain moment, we stopped and had few moments to contemplate the nature without speaking. I should say it was a strange feeling to listen to the voice of Silence.. to be one with the nature, to communicate with the soul. Our every day life erase this from our mind. The sound of the living city is the normal thing. The sound of TV at home, family talking, telephone ringing.. those are the normal things. But Silence? what is that strange word. In our world it means saying nothing but still it's not complete silence, it's only silence of the mouth. the other Silence i experienced is like a void pulling u from anything else, like a black hole.
I wish i can do this more often. I need to talk with my inner soul. I hope u can experience this feeling at least once in ur life time.

the power of ...

These are just little thoughts i wrote in the beginning of this year but i didn't continue it i'm posting it as it is...

What's power? is it the ability to do something, or the authority, or the capacity?

Some people have all the power in their hands, other people just pretend they got the power and the rest, only are subjected to the effect of the power of the others.

If we have power does it allow us to use it as we please to do what we finally want? or this power is subjected to the needs of others?

Is a powereless man more powerful by his strength than a man with all the power in the world but without any other abilities?

I'm not only talking power of ruling like a president or a director, i'm talking about a more simpler thing, the power inside every one of us.

10 days ago...

The following story happened exactly 10 days ago...

It was around 10h30pm or 11pm. I've just finished the final exam of my spanish course, got the result which was as expected and heading to my home full of joy. I missed that feeling for a long time, feeling of self content, after achieving something, feeling of relief after hard work (ok i'm exagerating in that last thing, i didn't study hard at all)...
so, like after any class, i walk about 5 minutes to a nearby metro station to go home (metro is really good since it doesn't take time with all the traffic on the roads especially when not crowded). i was in the 1st car, dedicated for the ladies, everything was normal till a guy with his wife and kid stepped into the wagon. One young girl protested, and began to shout, it's againts the rule, he should go off the wagon.. another one disagreed saying when it's late at night there is no such rule... and so one, the more times passes, the more their voices became louder, till they almost fought with hands. everybody else was just indifferent, some were laughing, some not paying attention. i was surprised, why when someone is talking about something right nobody cares? i didn't mind that this family came or not, i was just thinking about what are the rules and they are followed or not. it's a way of living, by or off the rules. most of the people out there didn't like the young girl who overreacted cos someone broke the rules.
i didn't do also what i should do, i just kept silence, watching what's going on.. i'm not proud of myself, i was just afraid to say something, to get caught into something.. i was upset for spoiling my happy moment... and i got off the metro, wondering about the whole situation.

Back

i didn't write for a long time, convincing myself that i should only write when something touches me and that's all.... then days passes, months passes, and i don't post anything, waiting for something to shake me to write.. so i lost the main reason why i began this blog in the first place.
it doesn't matter what i write about, big or small, happy or sad. i don't have to lock everything inside myself, i should let it go.
so for who believed in me, who encouraged me, this is for you.