Friday, April 22, 2005
The 1st annual of my grandmother (it's supposed to be 2/2 but usually it is done a month earlier there, in iraq)
This photo was taken today.
I think this is the least thing i can do, to ask that you pray for her.
I didn't know her as i should, i just remember some little things, long time ago. I remember when i was visiting family there, me, my bro and my cousins were playing together, i think playing pirates or sailors, and we put chairs and tables upside down on the floor, and she came and was angry about that.
I remember when she came to egypt, 15 years ago, and she was staying a little time with my other grandmother and it was the 1st time i have both together and i call them both teta, so it was strange.
I heard that she has strength when she was suffering (she had cancer) and not complaining about anything and that she had rest when she passed away cos the last period was so difficult, but sometimes the person is selfish, as i was praying that she lives till i can see her and at the same time i didn't want her to suffer.
There are many things i wish i could have done, i know some were impossible and not in my hands, but still it's sometimes like feeling guilt that i could have done this or that but i didn't.
I hoped that the war would end soon so i can go and see her before she dies but this wish was impossible, and still 2 years after the war, things are even worse there.
I'm still hoping that things will get better soon, all we can do is just pray.