Between Fear and Hope

was the theme of the unexpected spectacle i had attended last night. I would say unexpected cos it was totally inovative and challenging. The dancers really were moving as driven by the music, every step as if was created to this note or that beat and were taking you from fear to happiness , from love to hate, from death to life. I was amazed feeling all these feelings at once, going through the deepest parts of my soul, discovering hope underneath the surface.
It is amazing how just a small spectacle can transcend all those feelings at once. Like living in a virtual world, it is not ours but it is there and you come up with lot of questions of who and what.
The most striking was that for the part of "Sacre du Printemps" of Stravinsky, the Pina Bauch band were dancing upon a covered floor with actual and real dirt. Each step taken was traced on it to leave its mark. Like our life, every little thing leaves its footprint even if we can't see it. At the end, it is us who should pay attention cos if unseen, it is like using a part of ourselves.
To be honest, I didn't have all these thoughts last night. It is like seeing or capturing a scene in ur memory then after that u think about it and strikes u with the plain clear meaning.

Shadia

Shadia is a little girl, not more than 8 years old... she sells some glittering head thing at Khan El Khalili. She came to our table, with her little smiley face as many other beggers/sellers but unlike everyone else, she had her little own sharm. A minute then she commented on my brother's old mobile (Nokia 6150) that he like very much. Imagine this little girl giving him hard words about his mobile and how he still carries it. She was so hilarious cos she was talking so seriously... we couldn't stop laughing... at the end, she didn't want money when someone tried to offer her, she said she is not a begger, she only sells... A little girl that knows what it means to have self respect and decency, that is something so rare in our society...

Expectations, between reality and dreams

For my 200th post in my blog, trying to ask myself, what are my expectations from writing and blogging.. is it to write only for the sake of writing or to share whatever i feel is good to share with friends, family or totally strangers? is it to try to get the attention of "someone" without telling him/her directly about feelings and thoughts? is it not having anything else to do except wasting time by typing words on an empty screen??
Does it really matter what is the reason behind all this in the first place?

And when those expectations are lost, when the dreams are just more dreams carried away by the wind of time, and the reality is just another reality which is more cruel than anything else, at this point, we forget about any expectations. The high hopes are shuttered into million pieces and the dreams become nightmares. Should we forget about those dreams? Should we leave everything to the fate, whatever the outcome will be? Cos the more we have expectations in life, the more we suffer if we can't fulfill them. Does it worth all this trouble?

I try to live by the concept of give it a try even if it won't work out. At least, you wouldn't miss what could be achieved and if it turns out to the other way, you know it wasn't for you at this time. Sometimes i get discouraged, sometimes i get lost in the middle, and few rare times, i get to live just one tiny moment of true happiness, cos i feel i reached something, even if in the moments after it is gone already. And those little moments, are what give me motive to have more expectations even though most of the times, they are trashed away by little unsignificant events.

Anyway, i'm still keep searching for this point where dreams meet reality and i do have high expectations to reach it someday... until then, i guess i'll be bothering you with my posts every now and then :D

Karetas

Now in my way back to home, i pass by Kasr el Nil bridge, which is one of the oldest bridges in Cairo. This bridge is known as a place to visit, specially on summer nights, cos of the view, the Nile and all the lights around, its proximity to downtown and a famous place for friends or lovers to hangout.
With all that, comes the "kareta", this small carriage that is steered by a horse. It is mostly used by tourists or foreigners, or egyptians who want to have a quite different experience.
I wonder how people enjoy a ride in a "kareta" in the middle of all those cars and noise and pollution... shouldn't be those rides in some specific area just for the karetas for the sake of both, the karetas passengers and the car passengers?

Too much love kills the love

A couple of days ago, during an exchange of messages, the above 'quote' was mentioned as an example.. It was a first time for me to hear and it made me wondering if too much of something could kill this thing? How and Why?
If we check our daily life, like for material and physical things, it is more or less correct. Too much smoke kills or at least would affect the health. Too much water could kill the plants...
But for the non-material things, is it the same thing and why?

I think it is related to the fact that the human being needs constant change, whatever in the rythm, in the activities and to be unique.
Too much work will make us hate working and kills the ambition to excel in this domain.
if a person talks a lot, we would find that he/she becomes a boring one, with all the stories repeated.

but back to the quote that intrigues me, Too much love kills the love. Why isn't the same with hate. Wouldn't be great if the too much hatred in this world would vanish just like that? does the person have what is called a "normal selection" to which feelings are good to fill life with them and which may lead to the "self destruction"?
or is it related to that the excess of something could ruin it all? as per the prior two things, a perspon needs change and uniqueness.

Why is it difficult to say I love you?

This is a question that always had been intriguing me since long time...

why is it always when coming to feelings, we just keep them inside us?
why we don't say i love you or even i like you even if it is so obvious?
why do we have to wait till we are 500% certain before saying it?
why are we afraid from the reaction and can't act like normal grown up people? if it is a no, then it is a no, and life goes on... but yet, this is not the case for most of people, it changes everything.

why and why.... and we keep wondering and life goes by and at the end, we end up missing lot of "could be" cos we didn't have the courage for one moment to say what we really feel.

Rediscovering Egypt

The idea started by mixing two of my favourite things, visiting historical places and monuments, and photography. Both make me discover new horizons and dimensions, through photography i notice the greatness of those places, and at the same time, i'm trying to rediscover places that are hidden to the common people or to discover new aspects for the more common places.
It gives me joy to hold my camera, adjust the settings and click on the button. The result might not be as beautiful as the reality but i also keep in mind those few moments of amazement and excitment. To think what could be behind at door, or what's inside this room and to notice small details that contribute in the whole thing, to be transported to another world that used to be the real world.
I'm just happy and i hope that i could keep it up like that.... Wait for the coming adventures :)